By: Kelsey Wooten, LPC
First things first, I will be using the word ”counselor” and “therapist” interchangeably throughout this blog post. Secondly, your therapist will probably not have you lay down on a couch as you see in the movies. As a mental health professional nothing makes me cringe quite like how therapy and therapists are depicted on the silver screen (think Dr. Melfey on The Sopranos). There are probably hundreds of examples I could give of unethical behavior or just flat-out bad therapy – but many people have had poor experiences with mental health professionals and are hesitant to go back. COMPLETELY UNDERSTANDABLE. My hope here is that I can give you some tips to help you feel more confident when you make that first appointment with a counselor.
Tip #1: Don’t wait until you are in a crisis
I cannot tell you how many times I have talked with someone who waited until the sky was falling to ask for help. While I understand it cannot always be avoided, it will make the process so much less stressful. Here is why – when you are researching possible counselors or calling around, not everyone will have immediate availability or time slots that work for your schedule. This can leave you feeling defeated, on top of struggling to keep it together. Secondly, this can cause you to get frustrated or lash out at the people you come into contact with, which is not always a great first impression. Finally, because you are in a rush you may end up settling with someone who isn’t the best fit for you and not getting the support you need – putting you back at square one.
Tip # 2: DO YOUR RESEARCH
Doing your research before you go and see a therapist will save you time and money. If you have no idea where to start you have a few options. First, if you have insurance you can call or go to their website and search for ‘in network’ providers (meaning these providers work with your insurance). If insurance is something you want to use it is your responsibility to verify that your therapist takes your insurance, don’t just take the internet’s word for it. Secondly, you could go to psychologytoday.com and search for therapists in your area. This is a great tool that allows you to search by a specific problem, gender, race, insurance ect. Thirdly, if your employer has an employee assistance program (or EAP) they can offer free but limited assistance. Finally, you can ask people you trust for a recommendation but always do your research.
Tip #3: Understand the cost and charges surrounding your visit
As I stated above, using insurance is an option when looking for a therapist. However, you need to understand your insurance policy and what it will and won’t cover. Oftentimes people assume they won’t have to pay out of pocket and are shocked at hundreds of dollars on their outstanding bill when their insurance denies their claim 4 or 5 sessions in. A word of caution – many insurance companies require a mental health diagnosis in order to cover sessions. This can make some people uncomfortable because a diagnosis will then be on their medical records – If that is the case or you do not want to use/don’t have insurance, private pay is an option. This means that you would cover all costs out of pocket and don’t have to worry about insurance dictating how many sessions, how much will be paid for or who you can see. It is important to point out that counseling is a financial commitment – this can be a deterrent for those seeking treatment. Many professionals offer a sliding payment scale or a payment plan if this is a concern.
Tip #4: Communication is key
In order for therapy to work for you, you have to be able to advocate for yourself. Do you have questions or concerns about what treatment will look like? Be honest and ASK. It will feel awkward, clunky, and uncomfortable – do it anyway. Especially if it is your first time sitting on the couch. It will ease your mind and help build trust in your therapeutic relationship. As counselors, we know it can be nerve-wracking and scary to come to us for help, but we can only work with what you tell us. It is also okay if you see someone a few times and decide it is not a good fit. It may take some shopping around before you find the right person for you – and that’s okay!
Below are some questions you can ask your potential therapist:
What is your educational background/specialty?
How do you view the counseling process?
What is your modality of treatment?
What does your cancellation policy look like?
What is a realistic timeline for treatment?
What does the power dynamic look like or who decides what you discuss in session?
Tip #5: Be aware of red flags
Just like any other profession, there are good and bad apples. Being able to identify red flags early can save you time, energy, money, and a headache. Below are just a few examples:
They push religious, political or other views on you
They talk about themselves too much or overshare
They do not return calls, texts, emails in a timely manner
They are constantly disorganized, late, cancel appointments last minute
They do not respect you or your boundaries
They do not provide or get defensive about giving a referral when asked
They use hurtful or hateful language
They do not take your feedback well
They make you feel uncomfortable or unsafe
The biggest takeaway is that if you feel uncomfortable or dissatisfied after a session you can decide to tell them next session. or try to find someone new all together. Finding the right therapist can feel like dating – it might take trying a few before you find the right fit.
I hope this helps you get started on finding a therapist! When you start looking it can feel daunting or overwhelming – just remember to take it one step at a time. Sometimes admitting you need help and asking for it is the hardest part.