By: Kelsey Wooten, LPC
When you see someone eating alone in a restaurant or cafe do you think it’s sad or brave?
If you think it’s sad you probably assume they’re lonely, but perhaps they are enjoying their own company. While they may or may not experience loneliness, as we all do, that person has a strong relationship with themselves. They felt brave enough to take themselves to lunch just because they wanted to.
Having a strong/healthy relationship with yourself is important to your overall mental well-being. Why? Because we are always with ourselves, and when we try to escape our own minds and bodies we can do real damage. One example of this is using substances, food, people, or screens to distract or numb us – but there is a different way to cope with being alone.
If you want to improve your ability to do things alone, take stock of what you feel comfortable doing. Are you okay with shopping for groceries and running errands? If not, that’s a good place to start. Find joy in the small things! Go smell the candles or take a stroll around the electronics or game section, just because you can. Notice what goes on inside of you as you do this. Are you in the moment or are you thinking about work or school or a relationship? If it’s the latter, turn your attention to the things going on around you – sights, smells, noises, anything you can taste or touch. Take it all in.
Bonus points if you strike up a conversation with the cashier/barista or a stranger in line!
Give yourself the chance to try new things and talk to people. Make eye contact and say hello. Allow yourself to be uncomfortable and awkward. Over time you’ll build confidence and esteem doing things alone. You’ll have a better sense of who you are and what you like. You never know, you might make a new friend or be glad you had that experience.
Other ideas:
Go get coffee/smoothie
Go for a walk
Go to a show
Walk around your local farmers market
Go to a museum
We won’t always have someone to go with us. So do we sit it out or go by ourselves and make the best of it? You decide!