By: Sarah Rapisardo, LPC
Sober Breathing Space
When faced with a stressful scenario, it can be easy to get stuck in the pattern of reacting immediately in the moment without first reflecting. Reactions can be autopilot responses that happen without any forethought and without filtering what we want to say or do. Responses, on the other hand, require a deeper thought process and are more deliberate. Being able to appropriately respond versus react can be especially helpful if you find yourself feeling upset, facing a high-risk situation, or having an urge to act in an unhealthy manner.
SOBER Breathing Space is a tool that can be used to ensure you are able to respond in a healthy manner to any stressful situation. It’s a simple and quick acronym to use in real-time. Here is how it works: –
S – Stop. This is the most important step, because without it you are not able to even start the process of interrupting the autopilot reaction and changing the outcome. It can be helpful to practice this in non-emergent situations first to become familiar with pausing your day and doing a mental check in about what is going on. After you’ve practiced it in your typical day-to-day, it can become easier to do so when in crisis. Making a conscious effort to stop and consider your next step is half the battle, so don’t be hard on yourself if it takes some time to effectively practice this one.
O- Observe. Once you’ve been able to stop and eliminate the autopilot reaction, take a moment to soak it all in. Observe everything you can about your situation: the details of what is happening, the emotional response you feel, the physical sensations in your body, your overall mood. Do a quick body scan, focusing on how and what you feel from head to toe. Pay attention to any tightness, clenching, tension or other discomfort. Just notice it and become aware of everything you can about yourself and your scenario.
B- Breathe. This step is so important but can easily be forgotten in moments of crisis. Take a few moments to focus all of your attention on your breathing. Feel the air filling up your lungs, feel the deflation of your belly as your exhale. There are any number of deep breathing techniques to choose from here and if you fancy one, then now is a good time to practice it. If there isn’t a particular style of breathing you prefer, then just focus on taking in a deep breath through your nose, holding it in briefly and then slowly exhaling through your mouth. Taking deep breaths will help to slow your heartbeat, stabilize your blood pressure and lower your stress level. It also allows more oxygen to flow to our brain, improving our ability to think through a scenario and signaling that it is okay to relax.
E- Expand your awareness. Once you have practiced your deep breathing for a few minutes and your thinking brain is more accessible, use that to expand your awareness from your breath to the rest of your body, your experience and the situation you are in. Sit with yourself and recognize the thoughts and feelings you are experiencing. Make yourself aware of the big picture of the scenario. Ask yourself if the impact will feel the same as it feels now in a week, a month, a year. Ask yourself if you have been through anything similar before. Ask yourself what skills you have acquired to help you handle the situation, no matter how difficult it may seem.
R- Respond instead of reacting. Now, make a decision about how you consciously want to respond in the scenario. Consider what your gut reaction would be and explore if that is how you want to respond here. If it is not, then consider other options for what you can say or do in the scenario. The key here is to bring in mindfulness and awareness, so that you are breaking the autopilot reaction and actively choosing how you want to respond. Even when you have always reacted a certain way to this stimuli, even when things are out of your control, and even when you are in crisis- you always have a choice of how to respond.