By: Kelsey Wooten, LPC
If you have some free time, pull up Netflix and watch The Starling starring Melissa McCarthy and Chris O’Dowd. In ‘The Starling’ they play two grieving parents who lost their infant to SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome). We join them on their journey to rebuild their life, learn how to grieve, and find each other again. What is striking about this film is how raw some moments and others are comical. At times circumstances are so ridiculous that all you can do is laugh – this is true for both the film and real life. Throughout the film ‘Lily’ McCarthy’s character battles a territorial starling and we get to witness how fickle grief can be.
October is pregnancy and infant loss awareness month. While there is a stigma about how often it is talked about, pregnancy and infant loss is common. Loss of a child at any stage is devastating, and it can be hard to know how to support someone when they have experienced a loss like this. First remember that everyone grieves in their own way. Keep showing up with food, a hug, a kind word, or to help them with chores. Just listen if they want to talk, and avoid giving unhelpful or unsolicited advice. It is also important to use the person’s name, which is something we see them navigate in the movie.
Grief changes people, and can completely shatter the lives of the parents and family. It takes time to find a way back to oneself and some sense of normal. If this is you, remember to be gentle on yourself.
By the end of this film it will leave you with a sense of hope.