By: Kelsey Wooten, LPC
We often start therapy because something in our life is making us unhappy. As we do some internal digging with our therapist, we learn new things that can cause our perspective to shift. This is a wonderful thing that shows personal growth! It happens slowly, day in and day out. Just like a plant your roots grow longer, leaves get bigger, and stem gets stronger. You may not notice growth every day but eventually, you will, and then suddenly you realize you need a bigger pot.
Growth may look like:
– Saying ‘no’ to things when you used to say ‘yes’
– Speaking up when you disagree
– Trying to use helpful coping skills
– Using healthy communication
– Living a healthier lifestyle
– Trying new things
– Resting without having to ‘earn it’
While all of this is wonderful you may also experience growing pains, because just like that plant in a pot, you may outgrow places, people, and things you used to enjoy. This can be emotionally painful, you may grieve that loss; AND you can know that they no longer serve you, your growth, and this version of yourself.
You may also experience conflict with people you didn’t before. You may ask yourself, “Am I doing something wrong?” The answer is no, you are doing things exactly right. Often when we set boundaries, we get pushback from others because they are not used to you setting them or they disagree. It’s okay – keep holding that line. What matters is that you feel good about yourself and the life you are living, imperfections and all. Even if you feel like ‘crap’ doing it. Just like learning any other skill, it takes practice. Your voice can shake the first few times you say ‘no’ but then it gets easier. You notice that living with intention feels good, as opposed to letting everyone else run your life. Know that it is normal to be sad or grieve this change in your life, keep growing. Be the radiant ten-foot sunflower you are and don’t let anyone dim your shine.